The last 24 hours have not slowed down much for the man who makes us all look “like droopy-eyed, armless children,” Charlie Sheen. Here is the latest news in the life of the man with one speed: Go!
— Charlie joined the Twitterverse yesterday and as of this writing is following 21 people, including among others Nicky Hilton, Minka Kelly, Nick Swisher, Diddy, Piers Morgan, and Floyd Mayweather, and has made 14 tweets to a staggering audience of over 900,000 followers. (His first tweet is shown to the right.)
— His future ex-wife Brooke Mueller got a restraining order against him requiring Charlie to stay 100 yards away from her and have no contact with her, to which he responded, “Great. I was already planning on staying 100 parsecs away from her.”
— His 23-month-old twins Max and Bob were removed from his home late Tuesday night and turned over to Brooke.
“I am very concerned that [Sheen] is currently insane,” Mueller stated in her custody filing. “I am in great fear that he will find me and attack me and I am in great fear for the children’s safety while in his care.”
Sheen did cooperate fully as the kids were removed, saying to the officers, “I understand, you’re doing your job.” Though once the proceedings were over stated, “Tiger blood now drips from my fangs!” And of course, “Winner!”
— Brooke also stated that Sheen allegedly made references to having people killed and once referred to his own manager Mark Burg as a “stoopid Jew pig,” in a sworn statement. When asked to respond, Sheen texted one word: “Lies.” This despite Mueller providing the court a copy of a text message from Sheen that read, “I must execute mark b like the stoopid jew pig that he is.”
She alleges that following their much-publicized fight on Christmas Day Sheen told her, “I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
Brooke also says that on their recent flight to the Bahamas (with Charlie and his “goddesses”), Charlie was telling passengers on the plane “that he hated his ex-wife, Denise Richards, violently and he was going to have her hair shaved off.”
— Charlie has even managed to piss off some warlocks in Salem, Massachusetts because he referred to himself as a “Vatican assassin warlock.”
— But he has the support of The Donald, “I think Charlie’s doing not so bad. So far, Charlie’s a winner!” so it’s all good.
— And even though shooting for the film has already wrapped, a source for Badass Digest claims director Todd Phillips is trying to get Charlie to appear in a cameo for The Hangover Part II which doesn’t open May 26.
(As an additional effort to help you fully understand the breadth and scope of Sheen’s media blitzkrieg here is a mash-up of some of his best interview rants set to DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win.”)
Brooke Mueller Gets Restraining Order Against Charlie [TMZ]
Brooke Mueller gets restraining order against husband Charlie Sheen [CBS News]
Defiant Charlie Sheen Surrenders His Children To Authorities, Vows To Fight For Full Custody [Radar]
Brooke Mueller Claims Charlie Sheen Knocked Her Unconscious [People]
Sheen Allegedly Wanted Associates Killed [TMZ]
Charlie Sheen Offends The Warlocks [TMZ]
The Donald Weighs In – Charlie Sheen Is 'A Winner' [Access Hollywood]
Unsurprising News: THE HANGOVER PART II Is Chasing Charlie Sheen [Badass Digest]